Frivolous Monsters

Archive for the tag “Literature”

…in an Exciting Adventure with the Police – Part 01

I am like a one-man Neighbourhood Watch. It didn’t pass our attention when someone mysteriously spray-painted one of our hedgehogs with a big cross on its back and I eventually became aware of the patterns of a certain twenty-something blonde neighbour whose hours seemed to be so in keeping with mine that I naturally deduced that she could hardly be a normal functioning member of society; although this was before I started to really pay attention to her activities and I got a right eyeful, because it turns out that she isn’t shy, and what with all the costume changes and the hours spent in front of her full-length mirror in various states of undress that I began to wonder if she was a right Belle de Jour. And I don’t mean in the blogging way.

Police banner.jpg

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The Reading Room 07

I rounded off a visit to Costa Coffee by reading some of The Stepford Wives, a novel about the ultimate men’s club, before heading off to what I jokingly referred to as my own: late night library Wednesday in the reading room.

Bishop Brennan

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Coffee Shop Writer

This is the last of my six Christmas blog posts and it was dark times in early January when I underestimated my shopping in Asda and, for the first time, actually had to pay for a carrier bag; the law having been changed in England, three months earlier, requiring large shops to charge for plastic bags.1 That’s a whole six pence I wasn’t going to see again. The propaganda stated that it was a bag for life and meant that now I’d have to carry it around with me everywhere I went, for the rest of my days, like a pirate curse, because I sure as hell didn’t want to end up having to pay for a second one.

Sprout Boy

From the BBC’s 2015 animated festive advert Sprout Boy.

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The American Holidays

     I’ve been spoilt by my favourite bookshop Fopp, which sells two books for a fiver, and so when the Spectre Trilogy – the three James Bond novels which apparently tell the rise and fall of that criminal organisation1 – appeared in my local remainder bookshop for ten pounds I thought them a little “pricey”.

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Before They Were Famous (1990 – 2011)

In 1990 I entered a competition in a magazine which I went on to win. It was a much simpler time back then as you can tell by the prizes which consisted of a CD and a couple of audio tapes. Truly a different age. The magazine duly published my name as one of the winners but, in what’s amiss from today’s security-minded era, they also printed my address: An action which led to me receiving a speculative letter through the post from a group of much-older men luring me a rendezvous at a city centre pub. I was only just fourteen.  Mitre 1

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