Frivolous Monsters

The Reading Room 06

In the library I found they had a copy of a Hunter S. Thompson book – The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967 – which I hadn’t read, but then discovered that some twisted local, presumably the previous borrower, hadn’t so much taken it out to enjoy the adventures in Gonzo journalism which lay within because they’d been using it to press wild flowers instead. I knew this as, with my Sherlock Holmes-like skill, I detected evidence remaining within the book’s pages of some sort of large daisy; mostly because it was still wedged in there.

Partridge Smell My Cheese

In the reading room I then witnessed a war of under-the-breath comments break out over a free copy of The Metro newspaper when some normal-looking bloke on the next table went to take it and the pensioner sat next to me took umbrage and revealed that it wasn’t the library’s, but his own, although he was happy for him to read it.

It all seemed reasonable, but this prompted the man to go off on one, in a strop, whilst the shell-shocked newspaper owner kept offering it him – similar to when Alan Partridge demanded diners “smelt his cheese”, which he proffered on a fork, during his restaurant breakdown – but all to no avail.

The snubbed guy then went off around the reading room, straightening up all the periodical magazines on the display shelves, until I paid closer attention to his activities and realised that he wasn’t exactly helping out, moving them until they were all in their correct positions, but swapping them all around until they weren’t.

He then set off around the library like a twisted OCD fanatic moving everything that wasn’t nailed down or on fire two inches to the left, until it met his satisfaction.

What are you supposed to do in such a situation? Turn vigilante or go and get the heavily pregnant librarian, who was probably younger than the both of us, to sort him out like a Primary School teacher? The last time I witnessed the militant wing of Bury library they were gunning for me, and so as he entered the lending library bookshelves I left him to his own special brand of devastation.

I did notice, throughout all of this, that the headline of The Angling Times was: “Eel Record Broken After 35 Years”.

I have no further information.

Hunter S Thompson Flower Giant Large Daisy


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5 thoughts on “The Reading Room 06

  1. Hmm, your detective skills really are impressive!! Was it the daisy that did it?

    But again this term ” pensioner ‘ as if we are some sort of alien ethnic species.

    I think I’ll start a campaign “Pensioners are people too” pfft!!

    (Again great post.)
    Love Denise.🌹 💜

    • Now you say that you do make me sound as if I was being pejorative, when I was just trying to be descriptive and adding some sort of colour.

      You know since I took that photo, a few years ago now, I spent a lot of time trying to work out what the flower was. To no avail. It was only when I was digging it out for this that I thought of large of giant daisy and looked it up to see that was a real thing.

      • Had to look up the word ” pejorative ” hahaha!
        No offence taken, my indignation was a bit tongue in cheek. But having recently become a retiree, I’m trying not to fall into the stereotype, so I’m a bit oversensitive at the moment. Maybe I should do my own blog post

        But I digress. This post is about your experiences in the reading room and very entertaining it is too.

        Like the new picture. By the way.

      • Looks very much like a ‘Chrysanthemum leuchanthemum’ (common name – Ox-Eye Daisy). It’s a wild flower that you might see growing by the roadside. Sorry, but you did ask!

    • I did ask and that’s very specific. Looking now I see there’s a many varieties of daisy. Something which I imagined was unique, but turns out there’s a whole load of them.

      Varieties of Daisies
      Some of the varieties of Daisies are the white Daisy-like flowers, the Spanish Daisy, Blue Daisy, Lazy Daisy or Prairie Daisy, African Daisy, Michaelmas Daisy, Swan River Daisy, Tatarian Daisy, Painted Daisy, Paris Daisy, Shasta Daisy, Crown-Daisy, Ox-eye Daisy, Nippon Oxeye Daisy, Giant Daisy, African Daisy, Kingfisher Daisy, Sunshine Daisy, Gerbera Daisy, Transvaal Daisy or Barberton Daisy, Tahoka Daisy, Livingstone Daisy, Gloriosa Daisy, Dahlberg Daisy and Butter Daisy.

      I shall, of course, defer to your professional judgement on the matter.

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