The Reading Room 05
Visiting late-night library Wednesday is like an episode of the old children’s cartoon Mr. Benn in that with each visit you spin the wheel of local-characters and that you never know which of them is going to go off.
I arrived to find that the man who I reckoned looked like he was required to drink special medicine that required refrigeration, to stave off fighting bears in the gutter that only existed in his own imagination, was fast asleep on the sofa. The library might have been a local seat of learning, but this was just par for the course.
Before the nearest librarian could interject he began talking out loud in his sleep, shouting: “if she can’t change a nappy then why should I?”
Awoken by the librarian’s cry he sprang up alarmed, demanding to know where the voice was coming from, as if it was booming from the ceiling. He then went and bothered a man with a panda black eye, before quizzing me on whether I worked for the library or not, before staggering off-stage like John Wayne with constipation.
The wake of his departure may have left many people with many questions, but the main thing that I wanted to know was how did he have children before me? How was it, in this town, that this man was deemed a catch?