Frivolous Monsters

Nervously Waiting For The Test Result

It’s the twenty-first century and our accumulated wisdom and knowledge now amounts to greater than that held at the Library of Alexandria itself. And thanks to the British education system, and being brought up in front of the television, I myself am capable of great feats of learning:

I can prove Pythagoras’s theorem as to why the square of the hypotenuse for any right-angled triangle equals the sum of the square of the other two sides.

I can prove that it was actually David Ferrie who popped off old JFK fifty years ago and not the public distraction that was Lee Harvey Oswald.

I can prove that even though the filming for Grange Hill changed location and city over its thirty year run, canonically speaking, the characters still held the line that it nonsensically remained the Comprehensive High School building.

And, with my false Bangkok driving licence, I can prove that I’m over twenty-one.

But yesterday I was staggered with what I was as asked to prove…

For whilst commenting on a blog on the Blogger site, in all seriousness, I was asked to prove that I wasn’t a robot! Prove I wasn’t a robot, before they would allow me to pass comment, like some sort of mechanical apartheid.

Prove I’m not a robot? How do I prove I’m not a robot? Who do they think I am?

I’ll have to introduce them to The Turing Test.

It’s well known that Alan Turing was the mathematician who cracked the German Enigma Code and helped to end the Second World War: well known with the exception of those who saw and believed the events of the film All the Queen’s Men where it was Matt Le Blanc from Friends. Although as Wikipedia informs me that viewings in America returned just twenty-three thousand of the fifteen million dollar budget I assume that this is thankfully few.

Turing is also considered to be the father of computer science and artificial intelligence, but despite winning a war and developing modern technology he was persecuted because he wouldn’t get married like any other normal goddamn decent Englishman.

This persecution led to him being chemically castrated, to him having his security clearance removed on the off-chance that he might have been a Communist double-agent, and (probably) pushed him into (probably) committing suicide with a cyanide coated apple.

Turing statue with the cyanide apple. All very Snow White.

Before all this Turning developed a proposition on the ability of machines to be able to think, called The Turing Test, and surmised that if in a, text-based, conversation held between man and a machine, where the human couldn’t distinguish that the responses he’s getting is from a none-human, then the machine is said to have passed the test.

So how do I prove I’m not a robot? I could just be a very good one. Perhaps I’m just a computer scanning the internet and automatically generating Blog posts. So how do I prove I’m human? I could just start typing LOL after every sentence, I suppose.

So here I am, taking The Turing Test, where I have in effect a computer trying to work out if I’m a robot by getting me to decipher made up words (tlonse, edxec?) when the real answer for Blogger and their security measures is: You tell me!

Frivolous Monsters has a terminal error and needs to shut down.


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8 thoughts on “Nervously Waiting For The Test Result

  1. That’s inspired me to take the Turing test Too!

  2. All Robots are Dyslexic, hence calling them R2-D2 for example. It keeps them in their place.

    Thanks for checking out our site; liking this blog a lot, nice one.

  3. Med School Odyssey on said:

    Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? How do I know that I’m not a replicant?

  4. I love your robot identity parade picture, where on earth (or indeed outer space) did you get it from?

  5. Where did I get the robots? A lot of searching on the internet for the right picture which may have started off as “robot usual suspects”, and diverted into “tin plate robot toys”, but I’ve just found it again through Google searching “robot police lineup”. It is a very nice picture and (apart from the Lost in Space one) I do love those sort of old toys.

  6. The worrying thing is that when I type in the two words it fails to recognise them …again and again. So maybe I’m a robot. Or I need to go to Specsavers.

  7. For some reason you post reminded me of this…

    First chatbot conversation ends in argument:

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